


Why is this happening?

by tenshi6



Series: Rainbow Academy [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Arguing, Crying, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Kissing, M/M, Mistakes, Regrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 11:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2505956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenshi6/pseuds/tenshi6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“How could I? We were friends, Marco!” Marco shook his head and whispered bitterly. “We were so much more than friends!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why is this happening?

**Author's Note:**

> This story is unbeta-ed, sorry for any mistakes!
> 
> Title is taken from Dropping Daylight - Tell me. Huge hearts goes to [bloodsugar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar) because she helped me with it even though she doesn't ship Götzeus. You are the best hon! <3

Thomas' face lit up as he spotted Marco standing at the counter with Erik and grabbed Mario's arm, pulling him through the crowd of dancing people. "Hey, Marco, Erik!" He tried to yell louder than the music but it was impossible so he started waving, trying to get their attention. Something in Mario clicked and he felt unreasonably uneasy at the moment, he had a bad feeling about meeting Thomas' college friends but he tried to shrug it off. But then they approached them and he saw who Marco was.

He tried to struggle free and turn and run but it was already too late for that as the duo turned toward the enthusiastic Thomas and the shocked Mario.

"Guys, meet my best friend, Mario!" Thomas pointed at Mario, grinning. He stepped aside a bit to give space for handshaking and even pushed Mario closer. Surely Thomas meant it as an encouragement but Mario felt like being tossed into the pits of Hell.

Erik's eyes widened, a mixture of emotions playing on his face. Shock. Confusion. Anger.

On the other hand, Marco just paled as if he had seen a ghost and stared at Mario without blinking. His gaze was a spear thrown right into Mario's heart to pierce it in the most painful way possible. Thomas looked form the duo to Mario then back at his friends, frowning. He was just about to say something, probably ask what the hell was going on when Mats voice came from behind, startling them all.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" He pointed at Mario, venom clear both in his voice and eyes.

Mario could hear him clearly even though the music was beating loudly and the crowd was cheering and screaming the lyrics. He felt like being in a parallel dimension where time stopped. Everything was in slow motion but at the same time it all happened too fast.

"Um, he is my best friend and I invited him…?" Thomas looked at Mats, clearly not understanding the whole situation.

"I'm leaving." Mario mumbled and Mats narrowed his eyes at him.

"You better." He spat.

Thomas grabbed Mario's arm with one hand, holding Mats at arm-length with the other. "Hey, wait just a second. You are not going anywhere" he looked at Mario meaningfully then turned to Mats "and you calm the fuck down."

"You have no fucking idea about the whole thing!" Mats shouted and Thomas took a step back, surprised by his friend's outburst. Suddenly, Erik appeared in front of Mats, pushing him back.

"Calm down, Mats, please, it's not helping." His tone was firm but clearly he was struggling to keep it together.

"It's okay Tommy, I better go." Mario said again, freeing his arm from Thomas' grip. Thomas stared at his friends dumbfounded for a few seconds, hesitating what to do but then hurried after Mario.

"Marco?" Mats placed a hand on his friend's shoulder but he didn't reply.

Erik gave him a gentle nudge. "Marco, are you okay?" He knew it was a stupid question but couldn't come up with anything better.

Marco shook his head abruptly, coming back from his thoughts. He looked at Erik, trying to focus his vision then mumbled in an almost inaudible tone. "No." He slumped against Mats who caught him immediately.

"Let's get you home." Erik forced a small smile as he threw Marco's arm around his neck, helping Mats. Marco didn't reply. They could understand.

~~~

Meanwhile Thomas was practically chasing Mario down the street, running as fast as he could to catch up to him.

"Mario! Mario! Slow the fuck down for god's sake!" Thomas cursed out of breath. There was no reply. He increased his pace and grabbed Mario's arm as soon as he reached him.

"What the hell was that?" He demanded, turning Mario to look at him. It was then that he realized his friend was crying. He was taken aback and immediately switched to a gentler tone.

"You okay?"

Mario shook his head in denial. "No, I'm not." He sobbed then practically threw himself at Thomas, hugging him tight and burying his face into his chest as he started crying loudly. Thomas was so shocked he just stood like a statue but then manners got the better of him and he hugged Mario tight, caressing his back in an attempt to calm him down.

"It's okay, man, let it out."

He had no idea how long they were standing there but eventually Mario pulled back and wiped his tears off. Thomas searched for a tissue in his pocket to hand it over to Mario.

"Let's get back to the dorm." Thomas suggested and Mario nodded, following his friend still sobbing from time to time.

~~~

Mats and Erik technically carried Marco back to his dorm room, afraid if they had let him go he would have collapsed. They weren't far from the truth. They sat him on the bed and Marco immediately lied down, pulling the blanket from under himself then wrapping it around him. He turned toward the wall, not wanting his friends to see his tears. They knew it though. Erik and Mats exchanged a meaningful glance then sat to the floor, across Marco's bed, watching him in silence.

Marco was visibly shaking as he was trying to gain composure but it was a lost battle and soon the tears started flowing down his cheeks. Erik moved to comfort his friend but Mats held him back, shaking his head. "Leave him be." He whispered. It might seemed cruel but he knew Marco appreciated it. He needed time to get it out then he would talk to them. Hopefully sooner than later because even though Mats knew it was what his friend wanted he still couldn't bear to see him like this. Especially not because of that liar Mario fucking Götze. Marco had suffered enough because of him, why the fuck he had to appear out of nowhere now when Marco was finally coming back.

~~~

"Are you feeling a bit better?" Thomas asked after taking the empty mug from Mario and sat beside him on the bed.

"A bit." Mario hiccupped, blowing his nose again.

"So, would you tell me what this was all about?" Thomas asked carefully.

"I don't want to talk about it." Mario stated almost immediately but he wouldn't get rid of Thomas that easily.

"Well, I think you owe me an explanation about why am I sitting here with you having a serious breakdown for who knows why instead of having fun at the party with all my friends." Thomas retorted bluntly, hoping he didn't go too far. He understood Mario was having a hard time, it was pretty obvious, but he wanted to know why so he could help. And Mario also knew Thomas was painfully honest so he shouldn't be surprised.

Mario hung his head in shame then whispered after what seemed like forever. "I know them."

"Umm, yeah, I kinda figured out that much." Thomas commented.

"And I fucked up." Mario admitted with a sob, hugging his knees to his chest.

Thomas eyed his friend then put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it a bit. "What happened?"

Mario rested his forehead on his knees. "I don't, I can't-" He choked on the words.

"Mario, calm down." Thomas handed him the tissue box then put an arm around him. "It can't be that awful. Talk to me, I won't judge."

"It is that awful. I'm a terrible person." Mario cried.

"You don't mean that. You are an amazing person Mario, c'mon, I know you know that. Tell me what happened."

"We were classmates in… in… in high school. Friends. And then I-I left." He admitted.

Thomas frowned. "You mean, you transferred?"

Mario nodded slowly.

"They hate you because you transferred?" Thomas almost laughed because the idea was ridiculous. Clearly Mats, Erik and Marco wouldn't hate someone for going to another school that was just dumb.

"No. It's not-not like that." Mario sighed, visibly struggling to carry on speaking. "I didn't tell them, I just left. I cut them off, ignored them, haven't talked to them since." Mario sputtered then burst into tears again.

"Oh." It was all Thomas managed to reply. He really sucked at these deep conversations. Then he finally came up with at least one useful word. "Why?"

Mario let out a bitter laugh and finally looked at Thomas. "Because I fell for Marco."

"Okay, so you fell for your friend and he rejected you." Thomas was trying to sum it up but Mario shook his head.

"He didn't reject me, he doesn't know."

"Why didn't you tell him? I don't understand." Thomas admitted honestly. It was getting really soap-opera-ish to him.

"Because we were friends. You don't fell for friends!"

"You don't choose who you fall for." Thomas said gently.

Mario ignored his words. "That's why they hate me. I can understand. I hate myself too."

"Don't say that." Thomas whispered, tightening his grip around Mario.

"It's the truth." Mario sighed, leaning against Thomas.

"Look, why don't you tell him? I'm sure he-"

"NO!" Mario almost shouted in panic.

"Mario, you have to sort it out because clearly you are not happy and they are not happy either."

"No, they can't know, he can't know!" Mario insisted, eyes begging.

"But you owe him at least the truth." Thomas reasoned.

"Please, don't, it wouldn't change anything. It's too late."

"Bullshit. It's never too late."

"Please, Thomas, please, promise me. Promise not to tell him. I'm begging you."

Thomas gave him a long, hard glance then sighed in defeat. "Fine, I won't tell him. You should." However he wouldn't give up so easily. He wanted his friends to be on good terms and not hate each other. He had to talk to Marco.

~~~

The only problem was that Thomas could never get the chance to be with Marco alone. Mats or Erik or both of them were always close enough and Thomas was getting really annoyed and desperate. His friends didn't bring up that night and Mario seemed to be over it but Thomas just wasn't going to accept the fact that he couldn't spend time with all his friends together because they hated each other. Okay, Mats hated Mario, Mario was more likely just avoiding and Marco, well, Thomas had no idea about Marco's opinion. That's why he wanted to have a private conversation with him. Finally, he found a solution.

'Meet me in my room. Come alone. Don't tell anyone. Thomas'

Marco frowned as he re-read the text message again then shrugged and simply knocked. Thomas opened the door immediately, peeking outside.

"You alone?" He asked without saying 'hi'.

"Yeah, what's with the secrecy?" Marco asked confused, managing a laugh which was cut off by his surprised yelp as Thomas pulled him inside then locked the door. "Okay, seriously Thomas, what's wrong?"

"We need to talk." Thomas stated seriously, crossing his arms over his chest.

Marco sat on Thomas' bed, looking at him. "Um, okay, I'm listening."

"About Mario."

"Gomez?" Marco played dumb though he could guess what this was all about.

Thomas rolled his eyes. "Of course not. Mario Götze."

"Look, Thomas, I really appreciate-" Marco started uncomfortable but was cut off rudely.

"You guys need to talk. Sort things out. I know he left without saying anything but you have to hear his explanation."

Marco laughed sadly. "See? That's where it all fails. He won't talk to me. Do you have any idea how long I've been trying to reach him? I tried to call him every day for months. And nothing. Not even a 'fuck off'."

"I know he fucked up big time."

"Yeah." Marco sighed.

"Are you willing to talk to him?" Thomas asked at last.

"Is he?" Marco asked back, a glint of hope in his eyes. That's all Thomas needed.

"Leave it to me. Just stay here."

"What? Right now?" Marco kind of panicked but Thomas was already outside, locking the door. "Oh great." Marco sighed as he collapsed on the bed. He didn't know how he was supposed to feel, he felt oddly calm and well, sadly, empty about this.

"Slow down, Thomas, what is this all about?" Mario asked; half laughing, half frowning as Thomas was dragging him along the corridor, not caring about the strange glances.

"I told you, it's like emergency! Hurry!" Thomas insisted, pulling Mario to his door and fumbling with the keys as he opened it. "After you." He grinned at Mario who opened the door – dumbly unsuspiciously - and froze upon seeing Marco.

Thomas gave him a hard push on the back causing Mario to stumble forward then with a loud yell of "don't hate me" he shut the door and locked it before Mario could catch up what was happening.

For an awkward minute they just stared at each other and then Mario let out a small sigh and sat on the bed across Marco, staring at his feet.

"Um, he said you would like to talk." Marco said at last, his voice hoarse.

"Actually, no, I told him the opposite." Mario admitted, still not looking at Marco.

Great, another long and awkward silence. Then Marco spoke again. "Sorry."

Mario's head snapped up, staring at Marco confused. "For what?"

"Um, for everything."

Mario let out a forced laugh and it was Marco's turn to be confused.

"You are unreal, you know that?"

"What?" Marco snapped, getting annoyed. He really didn't know how to act but he was trying to be nice and Mario was being an ass. He should have known…

"I'm sorry. For everything." Mario said quietly, avoiding Marco's gaze again. Marco didn't know what to say or feel. Thankfully, Mario changed the topic.

"Do you think he would let us out now?"

"I don't think so." Marco eyed Mario for several minutes, gathering his courage to ask the following question. "Why did you leave?" He didn't seem angry or annoyed, only hurt and sad. Mario hated it. He wished Marco would be screaming and punching him instead of looking so broken. He caused it. He did this to him. The realization was squeezing his heart and he was having a hard time to breathe steadily.

"I tried to reach you." Marco added.

"I know." Mario admitted.

"Why didn't you reply?"

"Please, I don't want to talk about it."

"Yes, of course. Don't explain why I had to suffer for almost two years."

Mario looked at his friend shocked. Two years? Suffer? What was he talking about?

"Don't give me that look, like you had no idea. What were you thinking? You didn't come to school, didn't pick up the phone then I had to know from Kloppo you moved. You fucking left without a goodbye!" Marco didn't try to hold back his tears since he knew it would be useless.

"I know. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry is not good enough, Mario! Explain!" Marco demanded.

Mario was crying, too. "I can't."

"Why?"

"I just can't. Please, don't make me." Mario begged, wiping his tears but they just kept coming.

"I thought we were friends! Did I do something? Did something happen? Do you know how many times I replayed in my head every fucking minute we spent together, trying to figure out what I've done wrong?!"

"You didn't do anything wrong." Mario assured him. He wanted to go over to Marco and hug him, comfort him but he had no right to do so and it hurt. It was awful. Everything was collapsing around him and he had no idea how to make things right.

"Then why did you leave us? Why did you leave ME?!"

This was it. Mario couldn't keep it together, couldn't hold it anymore and just burst out the truth. "Because I loved you."

Marco looked at him surprised and confused, wiping his tears furiously. "What? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Mario didn't mean to share details but it was unavoidable now. He fucked up already, so there was nothing he could say to make it worse anyway. It was time to take responsibility. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before saying "I fell in love with you that's why I left."

Marco stared at him as if he had been slapped. Oh, here it comes, the insults, the hate, everything Mario wanted to avoid. But to his surprise Marco's reply was "That's all?"

"What? That's all? Are you kidding?" Mario laughed because he couldn't do anything else.

"Are you kidding?" Marco asked back. "Why didn't you tell me? How could you-, oh god, you know what? You were right, we shouldn't have spoken about this."

"I'm sorry." Mario sobbed.

"You should be! All this time, I was thinking it was me but in reality it was you being a coward."

That was not the word Mario was expecting to hear. "What? What do you mean by that?"

"What do you think? You ran away and left me to suffer instead of telling me right then!"

"How could I? We were friends, Marco!"

Marco shook his head and whispered bitterly. "We were so much more than friends!" Then buried his face into his palms and started crying.

The words echoed in Mario's head like the ring of church bells and he was paralyzed. What did that mean? There were so many questions but he couldn't address them. On the other hand, Marco looked completely destroyed and this was as long as Mario could resist, damn the consequences, he went to Marco and sat beside him on the bed, pulling him in for an awkward hug.

"I'm so sorry, I wanted to make things easier for you I didn't-"

"Easier?" Marco said in a high-pitched tone. "How on earth could you think that? How could you do this to me?"

"I'm so sorry." Mario repeated over and over again. Marco pulled back all of a sudden, staring at Mario, his expression unreadable.

"You are such an idiot, you know that?"

"Yeah." Mario sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt you though."

Marco let out a bitter laugh. "God, what if you would have meant?"

Mario smiled sadly. "I was a selfish ass."

"Yeah." Marco agreed, giving Mario a long, hard look, causing Mario to look away ashamed. Then Marco placed a finger on Mario's chin to lift his head. He was smiling weakly.

"I missed you so much." Marco admitted, eyes red from crying. Mario was sure his face looked pretty much the same.

"I missed you, too. Can you forgive me?"

Marco shook his head and for a terrible moment Mario thought it was over but then he heard Marco's words. "I was never mad at you." Mario's face lit up and he smiled warmly. Marco felt like looking at the sun, the sun he hadn't seen for years.

Mario spoke again, his expression confused but hopeful. "So, what now?"

"Depends on. Do you still love me?" Marco asked with a serious expression and Mario flushed a bit, but knew he owed Marco the truth. He didn't plan on lying anymore anyway.

"Never stopped."

"Good. Because neither did me." Marco smiled and pressed his lips gently on Mario's. It was wet and sloppy and still it was amazing, because it was between them. Mario knew it wouldn't be that easy, that he would have to face Mats and Erik soon and explain things and make things right but nothing mattered at the moment, because he had Marco's protective arms around his body and Marco's lips on his and that was all he needed.

~~~

"What are you doing?" Mats asked, staring at Thomas who was sitting on the floor, leaning against the door and casually reading a book.

"Forgot my keys." He laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

Mats frowned. Thomas looked oddly casual. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing, I swear." Thomas insisted but Mats wasn't convinced.

"Where is Marco?"

Thomas gave him a funny look. "How would I know?"

"I tried to call him but he wouldn't reply."

Thomas shrugged. "Maybe he is busy."

"Thomas!"

"What?"

"Where is he?" Mats demanded.

Thomas got to his feet. "Don't worry about him, he is fine."

Mats eyed him suspiciously then his gaze snapped to the locked door. Then realization hit him. "Don't tell me you locked him in your room!"

"What? Why would I do that?" Thomas laughed.

"It's not funny!"

"How do you even know he is inside?" Thomas asked, genuinely curious.

"Because you are acting way too suspicious. Now spill it, what have you done?"

"Nothing."

"Hey guys, what's up?" Mario walked up to them and Thomas' eyes widened in shock. Ugh, Mario, worst timing ever.

"Good, now he can let you in." Mats smirked at Thomas who shook his head.

"What is he talking about?" Mario frowned at Thomas.

"Alright, no one can get inside, okay?"

"What? Why?" Mario asked, confused.

"Yes, Thomas, why?" Mats pressed and Thomas gave up.

"Because Marco and Mario are talking things out." He sputtered.

"What the actual fuck?!" Mats swore while Mario at the same time frowned and asked "what?"

"Get out of the way, Thomas." Mats demanded, trying to push Thomas aside but he was adamant not to move.

"No way."

"I'm going in."

"Over my dead body!"

"If you wish so."

"Hey, now hold on a second. No one is getting dead." Mario interfered, standing between Thomas and the furious Mats.

"You can't agree with him!" Mats stared at Mario in disbelief.

"I didn't say I agree with anyone. You calm down and go away, and I'll talk to this idiot." Mario stated and Mats didn't dare to oppose. He sent Thomas a glare that didn't promise much good then left.

"So, would you mind an explanation?" Mario turned to Thomas who grinned at him sheepishly.

"So, Marco and Mario are having a crisis and they had to talk about it so I locked them inside." He beckoned his head towards their room.

"So, there is a chance they are at each other's throats at the moment?"

"Either that or having a dirty make-out session."

"In our room? Ew!"

"Oh, c'mon, that room has seen worse things." Thomas grinned knowingly and Mario couldn't help to grin back, the memories surfacing immediately.

"Fine, but you'll do the laundry!"

"Deal." Thomas laughed. "So, you wanna go see a movie? Though you'd have to pay because I left my wallet in there."

"Couldn't you have asked for a date more smoothly?"

"I could but where's the fun in that?"

"You are unbelievable."

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, they cried a lot. Sorry, I just had to make them suffer a bit before making up ;)
> 
> How do you liked it? Please, share your opinion with me! I don't take requests, sorry, but feel free to share your ideas with me, something might inspire me!
> 
> So this is the first part of my new series, there will be other pairings and different plots, all of them put in the same universe so don't worry, Götzeus will likely make 'guest appearence' in some of the upcoming stories.


End file.
